ode to the other side of the desk

oh you people who look at me like i'm an idiot or a jerk for the questions and clarifications i ask of you.  perhaps you have not had the view of humanity provided by this desk.  perhaps you live in a world where people pay attention, mean what they say, understand implications, and are familiar with the delicate distinctions of intricate variations such as "out of ink", "paper jam", or "broken".  perhaps you did listen, and will not be confused or offended by the inevitable controversy of "ma'am, this machine doesn't work," and "sir, you are at the wrong machine."  and perhaps, if we are all very lucky, more people will be able to learn your ability to nod your head dismissively while simultaneously comprehending instructions.  but no, here you return, confused at why it didn't work.